The Man In Every Woman

Some years back, I had a life changing experience. I met a very, young, orphaned Hausa family- 9 children from my count- with the oldest being a very tiny 9 year old girl with a baby tied to her scrawny back. They looked incredibly hungry and, though they were skeptical about the food I offered them, they ate it with relish when they realized that I meant them no harm. Seven year old Aisha burst into tears when her ‘aunties’ were about to leave. Her mummy just died and now, we all were leaving too. We had to reassure her that we will be back just to stop her torrent of tears.

A conversation ensued with these ‘aunties’ and I, and though my grasp of Hausa is zero and pidgin English is very poor, I really wanted to know what the fate of these children would be. They told me that, after their mother’s burial some days from then, the first two girls, Aisha and Halima, would be going to their husband’s house. They said it with pride…like it was a thing of gratitude for the girls to have the luck of being married at ages 7 and 9 respectively. The fate of the remaining children lay in the balance, dependent on the success of the girls’ marriages. These children haven’t had an education, they have no source of income, no trade, no skill, no nothing except their youth (or should I say ……) which would be exploited by some pedophiles…and the society is virtually silent about this. These girls would be raped and impregnated at very young ages, exposing them to diseases like VVF (Vesico Vaginal Fistula- which would cause them to reek of gut-wrenching odours and eventually be sent away by their husbands who caused the disease in the first place). And the society is still silent.

I have always been a feminist at heart but, seeing what these girls and a million
other girls were suffering  and are going to have to suffer, solidified my stance and gave me the boldness to address the issue head on and if speaking out would help me do so, then speak I will. Because history would judge those of us who saw and could act against the injustices of the world but refused to do so.

Feminism, in simple terms, and according to Rebecca West, is THE RADICAL NOTION THAT WOMEN ARE PEOPLE. I totally agree with her. When the topic of feminism and equal rights is brought up, the antagonistic men are so quick to pick up and dust their holy books and start quoting passages upon passages that further justify their subjugation of the female gender, quoting with a sense of certainty and justification, ignoring other salient points and parts, in a bid to properly carry out their selective reading and understanding. Just the same way every drunk has “take a little wine for yourStomach’s sake…1 Tim 5:23” as his maxim.

Truth be told, feminists do not care about the religious or cultural affiliations of others. We simply opine to the school of thought that seeks to define, establish, and achieve political, economic, personal, and social rights for women that are equal to those of men. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment. Feminist movements have campaigned and continue to campaign for women’s right including the right to vote, to hold public offices, to work and be paid commensurately, to own property, to receive an education, to protect women and girls from rape, sexual harassment and domestic violence, and lots more.
The fact that an ideal which champions noble causes like the ones listed above, and more, is being threatened, destructively criticized and castigated, is indeed baffling. Women now have a voice. They now have the right to vote and be voted for. They are freer than they were decades ago- all thanks to feminism. The ideal should, rather, be applauded.

Some people have suggested the end of the movement now that people like me with skin as dark as obsidian and mother tongues as heavy as lead can be heard through my pen and my voice. But I know that this is only the beginning. We may have rights and voices but, to whom much is given, much is expected. We owe a moral obligation to the Halimas and Aishas of our society to use our voices to give them a voice so that, someday, they too may speak. These girls deserve to go to school and get an education. They deserve to learn a trade or get a job that would make them self-reliant perchance they get buffeted by the vagaries and vicissitudes of life. I mean, a woman’s life shouldn’t just come to an abrupt end courtesy of the fact that she lost her
husband. As a matter of fact, marriage should be a partnership and not a lifeline. They deserve to enjoy their childhood, discover themselves and live a fulfilled life based on their terms. These, amongst many, are what feminism seeks to achieve.

We could simply claim the HUMAN RIGHTS ACTIVIST  title but, the truest way of fighting against any form of marginalization and oppression is by advocating for the oppressed- the victims of the social injustices of the world. Feminism is broader than some lines in a magazine and the views of some people on social media, whether properly projected or not. We simply want a world where men and women would be co-participants in the gift of life, contributing whatever talent they have to the growth and upliftment of the society and the world at large.

I am a feminist. Most women are feminists.Some are too shy or scared to admit it while a few others are too blinded by the contemporary chauvinistic Nigerian society to see the glaring dangers of female subjugation-forgetting that most of the social benefits they now have, originated from feminism. We all should be feminists. We would benefit greatly from the privileges of an egalitarian society- with the understanding that there is a woman in every man and a man in every woman.